Debt Speculator

by Wet Dentist

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price




Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License


released June 6, 2005




Wet Dentist Bethlehem

Wet Dentist makes electro-based music in Bethlehem, PA USA. Free downloads (or pay what you want) of over a decade's worth of discography. Not for the feint of heart.

contact / help

Contact Wet Dentist

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Herculean

The Dow lubricated
pectoral cherry anesthesia 1 and 3/8s
pile drive hackers
released her breasts
accumulate suicide bomber
balding the SEC Hot Carl
random searches 8%
it’s a slam dunk CHECKSUM
ERROR feel safe M.I.L.F.
breakpoints talk to your doctor
and see if 69 is right for you
down 2 1/8 talk to you doctor
and see if breakpoints is right for you
the ACLU
honey cold call like a worm
cut by the plow 1 ¼
think of the children
T bills intimate bull
they’ll be dancing in the streets
elimination period pussy skirt
crude oil euro hut hike
lighten up Francis
for the love of God, BUY (ulcer)
for the love of God, BUY (breakpoints)
debt speculator on the fly
the messiah that I know don’t get caught
up in details the messiah that I know
They were scamming old widows
holy roller body builder ripping phone books in half
they were scamming old holy roller body builders
Track Name: $Waltz$

Guess what I bought you
cadaver implants
you go on Monday
give me that smile

exfoliate this
1,2,3 joking
not, aw not
I don’t hallucinate no junk

bonds that don’t work
enough now, lighten up
I am going to get some tonight

Gimme gimme a second
gotta check the JetStream
They cooked the books last night
that’s why Tom and Jenna had rain check
I am going to get some tonight
Track Name: Audition for Oil Rig Porn
Audition for Oil Rig Porn

It’s Vickie to say remit your next breath
Your previous breath turned out to be bad

Bonjour Macarena style
Bust the silent festival

Audition for oil-rig porn

I’m sure that you want to impress my boss

Sparkling piranhas bash on
dark matter white piñatas
Track Name: Pyramid Crowbar
Pyramid Crowbar

Face first off a cliff . . .
Pummeling the clouds . . .
Jet exhaustion stamped on Goonie Bird acid
Shot smog at the idiot cosmos
Sure, blame it on the chemicals
That could easily melt trash bags But it’s me

The buzzword of the herd
I’m not just one , I’m two
I’m two of you, but more, more
Malaysian laser beam
Will find the stud (you’re toast)
Down in the mud the most

Gooey like gum stuck in a cement crack
A fly without ground (yeah, I’m like that)
I’ll run a marathon straight down your throat
Before concertina wire chokes and pokes holes in you

But it’s me
Pay the penalty
Feel how it’s like being bitten while dead (seeing)
March and chant
The future hiding behind this A merican alibi

My pyramid scheme will never get arrested
My pyramid scheme your codpiece collapses
My pyramid scheme sharpens up the crowbars
My pyramid scheme apostolic apostle of God

Here’s the shovel, I bought it broken
Now you know what’s behind curtain #1
Track Name: Bad Water for Walking
Bad Water For Walking

This just in . . . the CEO and founder of Lazarus LTD was found dead today on the bank of the East River. A mysterious needle mark was detected, but initial reports from toxologists find them baffled by what they say are traces of a compound never before encountered. Joseph Lazarus had been in the news recently, if you remember, as he had angered Iranian officials for his decision to choose Malaysia, seemingly out of the blue, for the location of his much-hyped pharmaceutical complex, worth, to our knowledge, several billion dollars. Lazarus remained, up until his death, secretive about what he called “over 2 decades worth of research.” It’s still a bit too early to tell how Wall Street will react to this event, but either way, pharmaceutical speculators and the International Market, in general, will have their hands full up until the 4 o’clock bell and beyond . . .

In other news, the reverse stock split announced today by NeuroAlgebra has investors barely interested, due partially to the Lazarus story, and possibly because this was a rather tame response to their just-posted quarterly earnings, “flat-lining” one shareholder remarked, as his shares went up an 1/8th after news of the reverse split went public.

JetStream Corp struck a deal to acquire 6 Apache helicopters from the US Military in an effort to quell employer rebellions at their plant in Nigeria just days after the President granted them added jurisdiction over the surrounding villages for, as he said, “national security purposes.” Their shares have recovered slightly from this morning’s jolt and should climb steadily now that investors have learned that the government will subsidize any debts accrued by this massive purchase.
Track Name: Up an 8th
Up An 8th

This is freeze-dried nuclear spring
End zone Roman sea monkey
Ashram “hot damn” dzuh bling bling
Installments rise up out of my flesh

Make my steak rare
I’m one, you’re two honey

Fire in the chapel pick up Lazarus LTD.
Hair follicle apparel disguise some crimes that I committed
Pay off/pay out smell the line
There’s my tight abs and old wine
I got shares in JetStream Corp.
Just shot up an eighth

Stock in scumware
Makes my steak rare
I’m one, you’re two honey

Up an eighth, up an eighth down three-and-three-eighths

You change the channel
I bomb a camel
Shattered ions of nostalgia
Rather switch religions than die

You look so great
What is your name?
Track Name: Amass My Trails, Diddy
Amass My Trails, Diddy

you better check, yo, with my image consultant
hula hoops and chickens plucked out of right eyes
digital toasters act as props at the new school roadblock
incremental heaven at the drop of a dime

you better check with my image consultant
dichotoscopic contact lenses catapult the oil
advertise on the surface of the full moon

“. . . the ‘P’ was getting between me and my fans . . .”

Don’t play me you understand me?
You will accept that feature in the policy

Amass my trails, Diddy
I like it when you purr and purr like a kitty on the MTV
new clothes line, or a new Tupac or Biggie CD DVD
Extraordinary, thanks a lot, I like how you do it for me
‘cause every dollar that you make, I make ten
and you got nothing when you think of defense

My decimal point is variable, malarial, it’s carry-on-able,
Yo, too legit to quit
I’ll write the rules for your audit
Make your favorite Benjamin addicted to Dilaudid

So don’t play me you understand me?
You will accept that feature in the policy

So go ahead, make your little statement
I’m in my place rightfully complacent
I’m on the top of your pyramid of bling
So what’s it matter that you really can’t sing

just amass my trails, Diddy
Track Name: The Debt Speculator
The Debt Speculator

Egg shells crack
Hut 1,2 mach schnell
I am my own percentage point
Satan is foreign and paranoid

∏ is nothing
but chaos
that is begging
to be bought

our love is so hot right now girl
the fine print says so, you can hock your Camaro
stick your thumb out backwards, girl

∏ is nothing
but chaos
that is begging
to be bought

Britney with twins
I’m thinking your dreams were wrong
19 skies backdated
while I wrote you this song

I’ll bet Walmart
sides with China
when that day
inevitably arrives